From Patterns to Presence: Using the Enneagram for Self-Realisation

If you’re here, it’s likely because you’ve sensed there’s something more to life than the stories you tell yourself, your circumstances, your family, your job and your personality.

Maybe you’ve already explored the Enneagram as a tool to understand yours and others’ personalities, improve relationships and become more “healthy” in your identity. That’s good, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. For me, the Enneagram’s use is most potent when used for Awakening— waking up from the trance of ego; who you think you are, and discovering your true nature beyond all fixation.

The End of the Search

When I first encountered the Enneagram, it was through my teacher, Eli Jaxon-Bear. I was on a search for truth, for freedom, for lasting internal peace and happiness. An end to my persistent suffering. I went to a retreat with Eli, and instantly, something profound clicked. My search ended right there.

The Enneagram gave me a window into my own behavior—my negative thinking, my anxieties, my fears—and showed me what was fueling them, what was underneath running subconsciously. It didn’t just help me understand myself; it facilitated a surrender to something deeper than my thoughts, emotions, my body or even my circumstances. I saw the difference between my true nature, and my physical mental emotional form that I had mistaken for who I am.

This isn’t to say the Enneagram should be used this way for everyone, but for me, it was a lightning rod. It wasn’t about learning; it was about unlearning. It showed me all the ways I mistakenly identified with a self that isn’t real, that is mechanical and oriented to survival, to what is alive, present, here and now, radiating Beingness and Consciousness.

Awakening Is Not a Practice

Let’s be clear: awakening isn’t something you achieve, and it’s not something you practice. Awakening is not a mantra or a concept to be added to your toolbox. You don’t have to do something to wake up. In fact, it’s a moment of grace— where the truth reveals itself, and you see that everything you’ve believed about yourself is just a story.

“All the things you use to identify yourself—your name, your body, your history, your relationships, your culture — are a story in your head. It is a bubble, of who you think you are. Who you really are is more fundamental than all of that. Who you are is what’s always here. ”

That’s why self-inquiry isn’t a practice. It’s a willingness to ask the question: Who am I? It’s not about meditating or turning it into a routine. It’s about directly checking what’s true right now. Who is this “I” that says, “I’m anxious,” or, “I’m not good enough”? When you stop believing the stories and look directly, you start to see the truth.

Seeing Through the Ego’s Patterns

The Enneagram is a powerful tool in this inquiry because it reveals the structure of the ego. Each fixation — the patterns of identification we fall into — is like a program running in the background, shaping how we perceive the world and ourselves. Emotional fixations identify with feelings: “How I feel is who I am.” Mental fixations identify with thoughts: “What I think is what’s true.” Body fixations identify with physical sensations: “What I feel in my body is what is real.”

But these fixations don’t tell you who you are. This is the primary misidentification of the ego, and causes endless suffering.

“The Enneagram doesn’t tell you who you are; it shows clearly who you think you are — and in recognising who you think you are, it’s possible to see deeper to your essential true nature.”

When you see these patterns clearly, they begin to dissolve. They lose their grip. What’s left is freedom—silent awareness, love, clarity, and presence. That’s who you really are.

The Courage to Look Within

It takes courage to open this door. Most people would rather keep it closed. They’re comfortable as long as they have money in the bank, a relationship, or something to distract them. But if you’re reading this, it’s likely you’re one of the mysterious people willing to look under the surface.

“You have to be ruthlessly honest. There are emotions, stories, and identifications you don’t admit to yourself. But in the willingness to admit them, to bring them to light, they dissolve. What’s revealed is freedom.”

The Enneagram helps you see through the ego’s stories—those beliefs about yourself that keep you stuck in suffering. For example, self-doubt is a common trap. You might think, “I’ll never wake up. This isn’t for me.” But that’s just a bubble of doubt, a thought rising up from fear. It has no reality beyond what you believe in it. If you don’t touch it, it pops and disappears back into the ground of this moment; limitless space, alive with conscious presence.

Love, Pain, and Freedom

Awakening isn’t about escaping pain. Pain is part of being human. But suffering — that endless cycle of unnecessary mental and emotional torment — is optional. Most suffering comes from believing stories that aren’t true.

“If you don’t touch those stories, they disappear. You’re left with openness, love, bliss, and freedom. Your essential nature has nothing to do with your circumstances, your body, or your relationship status. It’s already here. Stories come and go, shift and change. Circumstances come and go, shift and change. Bodies come and go, shift and change. And all the while, what is unchanging is always here untouched.”

Love, too, isn’t an object. It’s not something you can give or receive. Love is who you are. It’s always here. The only reason we don’t feel it is because we’re scared of it—scared of its vastness, its depth, its power.

The Invitation

The Enneagram isn’t the end goal. It’s a tool to help you see through the illusion of ego and wake up to the truth of who you are. But ultimately, even the Enneagram dissolves. It’s just a map, and once you see the truth, you don’t need the map anymore.

“It’s time to wake up. To stop living in the trance of ‘me and my story’ and realize that freedom, truth, love, stillness, peace, god, whatever you call this unspeakable mystery, is already here.”